Post by severus on Mar 29, 2012 12:00:05 GMT -5
SEVERUStobiasSNAPE
is
LOUIS GARREL
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Fear of a Name, Only Increases The Fear Of The Thing Itself
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is
LOUIS GARREL
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Fear of a Name, Only Increases The Fear Of The Thing Itself
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Character Name: Severus Tobias Snape
Severus - a name connected to "severe". Apparently his parents had amazing foresight. Severus doesn't pay much attention to the fact that there are also several saints named Severus- he assumes his name stems from nothing kind. His mother told him that the name came from a Roman general.
Tobias - Fairly obvious. His father's name. Actually, for a long time, he preferred the name to his real first name, instructing his friends (aka, his stuffed animals) to call him Tobias instead of Severus. As time went on, however, and he grew to understand the relationship he was doomed to share with his father, he forgot all about his fondness of the name. Most days, he tries not to acknowledge having it connected to him.
Snape - A crappy last name he would much prefer replaced with "Prince", his mother's name. It's various meanings range from rude to disgrace, making it just the kind of name his father deserved to carry. He, however, would have liked something different. Even "Hornybadger" would have made a better name.
Character Age: Sixteen
Job/Year: Sixth Year Slytherin
Wand: Ebony, a wood of power and protection. That's what holds the phoenix feather of his eleven inch wand together. The potions prodigy was sure the wand had indeed picked him, as he wouldn't have imagined himself with anything other than a dragon heartstring core. His mother had been equally surprised by the wand he ended up with, given most of the Princes did not have such a protective wand in their lineage. Still, it serves its purpose, allowing him all the room he needs to work on his various spells.
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Time Period: Marauder Era
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He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo
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He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo
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Play-By: Louis Garrel
Hair Shade: Black
Hair Style: His hair is shoulder length and black like his eyes. It’s thick but stringy, and often coated in a fine layer of grease. There’s really no need to go into too much detail about things, since everyone knows what his hair looks like.
Eye Color: He sports a pair of beady black eyes that may or may not have the ability to rip out souls when met. They seem to always be looking through another’s very thoughts, the potions prodigy presenting himself as a formidable opponent even though the image has already been shattered by the marauders. Still, his eyes never give away his emotions, always coming across as empty and cold. The ebony is thick, perhaps the darkest eyes anyone could ever image coming across.
Build: (Kind of a list-style working of his general looks)
Build: Because I’m a fan girl, I’m going to call him ‘charmingly trim.’ He’s not an Adonis by any means, but he does have a little bit of definition to his form. Must be all that running for his life he does. The muscles are there, though not completely defined. It could probably be described as the kind of body one would be perfectly capable of getting if they didn't pig out on sweets all the time. He isn’t one to spend hours at the gym working on his pecks. In fact, he doesn’t offer his body any real attention at all. Any shape he has taken from his years dodging injury came purely by accident. I don't feel a pressing need to go into detail here, because chances are you'll never see him with his shirt off. And why not? Well, the young half blood prince is ashamed of the scars hidden under his robes. His back is littered with memories of his father’s beatings, marks of all sizes and shapes decorating his back to make it look as though he was tortured as a child with constant lashings.
Not too far from the truth.
Posture: Severus has excellent posture when he’s not hunched over his work scribbling furiously. He likes to keep a refined air about him, even when nothing else about his person holds true to it. When eating his elbows never find the table, and when in the company of others his hands are always either folded neatly over his chest, or placed formally behind his back.
His Walk: He keeps his head down, though his back straight. He doesn’t like to slouch, though finds it hard not to do so when he’s so busy watching his feet all the damn time. He finds it easier than making eye contact with other students. They’re like wolves, finding it a threat if his eyes meet with theirs for even a split second. He keeps his hands at his sides when he walks, refraining from putting them in his pockets if possible. It was better to have them out in case they're needed to defend him suddenly.
Height: 6’1”
Weight: No one really knows, not even Severus. The boy doesn’t concern himself with such things. Of course, he does look excessively thin, his face alone enough to show that. His face is angular from the lack of flesh, his cheeks somewhat pointed and his eyes a little sunken. If he does weigh over one hundred pounds, it’s not by much.
Hands: Severus has long, bony fingers almost perfect for playing the piano with. Too bad he doesn’t play any musical instruments. His nails can get a bit long before he decides to cut them, his thoughts never really on how gross they are until he happens to hurt himself breaking one. A good manicure would do him wonders, though that would make his hands look like a girl’s in every possible way. Already they seem a little feminine with their length and how thin they are.
Limbs: Gangly is perhaps the best word to describe his limbs. While he does have some muscle tone, he’s often so busy flailing them around as he flees from a threat that it’s hard to notice. He looks quite akin to a bat when he’s moving quickly, though that has more to do with his over-sized robes over anything else.
Feet: He’s got two of them. Yay?
Overall Health: (Because I didn't know where else to put it, and I thought it needed to be addressed) The young reject has never been the picture of perfect health. He grew up having to skimp, and the habits haunt him even at Hogwarts, where food and water (and showers) are free for the taking and just waiting to be taken advantage of like only the best two-dollar whores. He eats like a bird, barely taking anything at lunch or dinner. Breakfast and tea-time were luxuries never afforded by his father, so he tends to skip out on the most important meal of the day and the snacks other students take such delight in. Naturally, he is an underweight lad by all standards, his bones visible over most of his body. While he does shower more at Hogwarts than he had at his own home, he spends so much time over a bubbling cauldron it really doesn’t do him a lot of good. The boy always looks like he has gone a week without a bath, despite his best attempts to change. He used to take excessive showers just to try and remedy the situation, an effort which ultimately proved worthless and backfired. After a while, he simply gave up trying to save face, falling back to the usual once a-day-shower without care of what the students around him thought. It was clear to him that he would never meet them on equal footing anyway. Because his appearance prompts one to think him sickly, the potions prodigy can hide any real illnesses that come his way fairly easily. His work with the various brews of the magic realm has offered him a weakened immune system for his troubles, making him a target for cold and flu bugs. The boy doesn’t sleep well, though he wouldn’t go as far as to call it insomnia. It's too common an illness about the school for him to want any part of.
SKIN TONE: He has a very pale, almost yellow complexion. Partly from never going out into the sunlight as a vampire would, but mostly because the boy just doesn’t seem to have the time or the motivation to take care of himself, thus leaving him with a very unhealthy skin color.
Lips: His lips are thin and without much shape, holding very little color to them. Not great for kissing, he knows, but they get the job done. The corners of his lips tend to slink upwards slowly when he smiles, creating a grinch-who-stole-christmas look to his expression regardless of whether or not it was sincere pleasure or mockery prompting the smile. In spite of his entertainment derived from making students and teachers alike feel either very small or very nervous, Severus never really looks happy. He doesn’t exactly have a lot in his life to be happy about, leaving an almost permanent scowl plastered over his pale face.
Eyebrows: Thin and black to match his hair, one usually arched in irritation towards the world he hates to damn much.
Nose: Big and greasy. He doesn't like it when people refer to it as a landing pad for dragons.
Teeth: While in later years he cares little about his teeth, at this moment he does fairly well to keep them nice. They’re mostly white thusly and straight enough for his tastes. He’s just glad he wasn’t cursed with buck teeth on top of everything else. His canines are slightly more pointed than normal, another part of the whole ‘he’s a vampire’ conspiracy. Really, though, he just hasn’t eaten enough in his life time to dull them down as much as other people his age have. He sort of enjoys having them in such a way, finding it almost fun to flash first years a threatening smile.
Dressing Style: Clad always in black, the young potions prodigy Severus Snape doesn't seem to give too much concern as to how he looks. Not that he has a lot of say in the matter. Even though his mother has got quite the fortune and has the money to get the boy pretty things, his father seems more than content in letting the boy continue wearing the same tattered clothes everyone is used to seeing him in. Tobias was never one to like spending wizard money anyway, all but forbidding it. Although, Severus does have snazzy black formal robes his mother secretly bought for him before she passed on. Hey hey. He is quite gaunt, thanks to an extremely hectic life. Running around doing what you can to protect your mother while going to school, working on new spells and potions under an assumed name AND fleeing from a certain band of Marauders every other day can often leave little room for food. Of course, he doesn’t look like he’s starving to death. He’s just a little… thin. That doesn’t mean his isn’t fit in any way, however. He doesn’t much take to accessories, finding them meaningless. On the whole, most of his clothes are out-dated and dingy, the boy sporting no coherent sense of style. Whatever fits, he wears.
Severus Snape looks every bit the villain most of the school claims him to be. And he does nothing to sway their perception of him, taking far too much pleasure in watching first years flee for their lives while listening to the absurd rumors muttered about him as he’s strolling by from the older members of the school.
He likes the appearance of being evil.
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Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.
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Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.
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Likes:
Potion books
Dark Art books
Jane Austin
William Shakespeare
Oscar Wilde
Most other books, on a lesser degree
The Forbidden Forest
Black
Meat
Strawberries
Potions Class
Defense Against the Dark Arts
Dark Arts without the defense part
Arma, his cat
Rain
Quiet
Being accepted
Smart people
Sweaters
Slytherins
Actually getting a good night's sleep
Smoking
The Slug Club
"The Half Blood Prince"
Being away from home
People who need him as a tutor
Wit-based confrontations
Death Eaters
Making spells
'Reading' minds
Cooking
Baking
Sneaking around at night
Boring days
Writing in his journal
Dislikes:
Swimming
Hurting Lily
Showers
People harassing him
Pranks
Immature people
Gryffindors
Hufflepuffs
Not being able to find himself
Himself
Messing up on something
Being so stubborn
Having such a large nose
John Steinbeck
Lazy people
Messy people
Useless people
Too many sweet things
People saying Voldemort
Order members
James Potter
Remus Lupin (and his werewolf counterpart)
Peter whats-his-face
Sirius Black
Albus Dumbledore
People smarter than him
Being in crowds
Quidditch
Being in pain
Getting sick all the time
His father
His mother (post death)
Smug little shits
Having no one he trusts
Children
Having no purpose
Not being respected for his talents
Alcohol
Overly pretty girls
Being shy around said girls
Most animals
Bright colors
Snow
Heat
Strengths:
Intelligence
Dark Magic
Potions
Wandless magic (the basics)
Lying
Dueling (one on one, damnit)
A secret hero complex
Improving potions
Creating new spells
Looking unwashed at all times
Occlumency/Legilimency
Making people cry
Defense against the dark arts (go figure)
Non verbal spells (the basics)
Noticing things
Cooking
Surprising people
Weaknesses:
Swimming
Lack of tact
Shy
Unwilling to forgive
Noticing trouble too late
Reckless
Rude
Needy
Desperate to fit it
Confused about his loyalties
Blunt
Can't dance
Smokes too much
Can't fly on a broom well
Hot-headed
Stubborn
Poor decision making skills
Terrible at Charms
Animals (they hate him)
Self-deprecating
Bottles things up
Strawberries (They own him)
Physically weak
Doesn't play well with others
Too greasy
Too thin
Overall Personality: Not really surprising, Severus is an atheist, stemming from a family of, well, atheists. His mother was raised a witch and found no need for the comfort of the Lord, while his father never took anything to heart and always told him believing in God was a waste of time and only for those who were too weak to stand on their own. Often-times this opinion afflicts him in casual conversation, making it difficult for Severus keep his mouth shut when someone starts going off on the wonders of the Almighty. He believes God is a crutch for the cowardly. A safety net people only really care about when things get bad or they're about to push up daisies. Nothing more.
Severus is also excessively intelligent. Well-versed specifically in Defense Against the Dark Arts and potions, the half blood prince also excels in almost every other field of study he hones in on. This attention to detail and want for high marks is due in part to his competitive nature. If he can’t physically beat his enemies, at least he can best them in knowledge. He likes to create his own spells, though he doesn’t often share his work with others. Much like olden time play writes would use a false name to write their manuscripts under, Severus dubbed himself the ‘Half Blood Prince’ within the pages of his old potions book, so no one would know of the magic he was creating. In his fifth year, Severus managed to pull off taking and doing very well in his OWLS.
The young Slytherin has made several spells and potions in his time. He as also edited several other brews and made them even better. No one really knows about these accomplishments, though, as he writes them all under an assumed name. The half blood prince isn’t big on having his name floating around the school. More often than not it’s a bad thing to have happen to him. So he plays it safe and keeps his loves a secret. What Severus is known for is his inability to stay out of harm’s way. He has spent more time in the hospital wing than most of the student population, mostly because of a potion going wrong, a fight with a Gryffindor, or falling down a flight of stairs on his own.
The potions prodigy has a mixed taste in literature, willing to read anything once. Art and décor, however, he holds no interest in at all. To him there’s really no point in looking at a statue or trying to obtain a deeper meaning behind a painting. He also finds little need to make his room look nice. Who cares what it looks like, so long as it gets the job done? That’s how he is, and that’s how his room is.
Severus likes to lead, but it doesn’t often come about for him to do so. So he makes sure he finds a good cause to allow himself to be a subordinate towards. He would sooner bring the whole cause crashing to the ground than follow the rule of someone he doesn’t feel worthy of the position. That’s just how he is. His opinions are always strong ones, making it difficult for him to believe anyone else can do a better job at handling a situation other than him. To coincide with this, he has also spent most of his life completely alone. Group work is foreign to him, and Severus is nothing if not resistant to change.
Almost in spite of all of this irascibility and illusory misanthropic savoir-faire, he is plagued by a hero complex uncommon for a Slytherin, and often finds himself helping others in subtle and unrewarded ways. Credit for a rescue, to him, is not so important as helping someone in need.
His aptitude towards both Dark Arts and Potions pride him greatly. The fact that he came to the school having read about more spells than most seventh years could ever hope to master pleases him on a daily basis, even though he rarely gets to show off his talents beyond scare tactics. While he had read about spells while at home, he never had a proper chance to practice them, and thus his knowledge of spells is mostly just surface information. Like an eager student reading the textbooks before getting to school and getting the much needed content. He gets extremely competitive in the subjects he enjoys most, always the top simply because his pride refuses to let him settle for second. He also tends to initially hate people with similar interests as him, marking them as threats rather than friends.
Diction is wildly important to Severus. He keeps himself with a heightened level of speech at all times. The young man doesn’t like sounding like an idiot, mostly because his father used a more vernacular speech. His words come slowly and precisely, almost as though he knows how to reply to something before said something is even uttered. His voice is always calm, emotionless to keep himself from looking weak. A trained perfection on his part also related to his relationship with his old man. His tone is low and ominous to add to his indifference, like a true bad ass. It makes it constantly sound as though he is making threats to the people he’s speaking with, even when he’s talking about something casually. When angered, though, his tone takes on an even more malicious feel to it, enough to send shivers down his opponent’s spine. Some say he sounds like a demon and he isn’t one to argue.
Stupid people are worse than death to the potions master. A depressing fate, considering the degenerate condition of intelligence exhibited from every orifice of the campus. To the former Slytherin idiocy radiated from around every turn, be it from a bumbling first year desperately struggling to blend with the crowd, a frantic fourth year drowning in too many classes because they lacked the common sense to moderate their schedule, or a smug sixth year pulling a prank to look like some kind of hero in the eyes of his peers. The stupid was everywhere, spreading like a viral infection through every person in the condemnable place and there was no cure. Even teachers were not immune from the grasp of retardation, unable to tell the difference between a good student and a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Or maybe Severus was a little elitist in his aptitude, everyone else succumbing to a Great Gastby-esque failure in his mind emanated by expectations planted too high from the very beginning.
Severus likes to make note of small details whenever he can. It may prove useful to him later on. It’s a part of his intelligence. He can’t help but notice everything. And he remembers it all well, calling on it when need be. Exploiting things he notices is a great way to stop someone from trying to get the upper hand on him, though a little under-handed in all truth. Desperate times and whatever.
Severus doesn’t have a lot to give, but if someone needs a little something he tries to help. Subtly, of course. The last thing he wants if for people to know that he helps others a great deal of the time. So he often gives people things in a round-about and rude manner, keeping them distasteful towards him while at the same time giving them a small gift. Christmas comes easiest for him, leaving his presents without name tags for those he feels deserving of a reward. It feels nice to give things to others, even the school's biggest misanthrope has trouble denying that.
Boy does Severus hold grudges like no bodies business. No one can even look at him funny without him instantly marking them as an enemy. The benefit of the doubt is a concept lost on the potions prodigy. Why should he look for the good in people? Throughout his life he has had to deal with people shutting him out and failing him in one way or another. Tricking him. Hurting him. After a while, it became too much to stand. He is thus a very resentful person.
His reactions when angry vary depending on his initial mood. Sometimes he bites his tongue and lets things happen rather than create a confrontation. Other times he’s more than ready to explode with rage and take some names. He’s not totally against fighting other people, though often-times he is out numbered. The other Death Eater Wannabes know he’s amazing with magic, and most don’t dare to take him on all alone. Maybe they’re not as stupid as he likes to assume them.
When the rare conversation should arise between him and another, he keeps his comments low and sardonic, with every intention of making the other as uncomfortable as possible so that they would leave him to his much wanted peace. There are no limits to which he will not go to be left alone if he finds the person he’s talking to a moron. Nevertheless, the scant few people to penetrate the initial barrier of belligerence that is his persona claim that, after several endeavors towards getting to know Severus, he can be very entertaining. His sharp wit, with or without the added asperity, can tend to grow on people, even creating a few inadvertent friends as he verbally rips the heads off of those unable to keep up with him. And while he makes it his life’s mission to slowly ostracize himself from the entire school outside of his house, Severus doesn’t push these few who are willing to put up with him away. A contradiction in terms, really. This hypocrisy is not subconscious. Even the greatest of recluse characters needed at least one friend to find their memoirs and make millions on them after the suicide. To put it simply: he has a very dark sense of humor, more interested in making people cry than laugh.
Severus hates alcohol. His father is an abusive, almost constantly drunken man and the potions prodigy wants to be nothing like him. So he strives for an alcohol-free existence, only drinking when the situation demanded it. Not only that, but Severus has a low tolerance for the stuff. If he gets too close to a strong-smelling drink he starts looking for a lampshade to wear. Inebriated Severus is a fun one to be around, however. When plastered, he really isn’t like Tobias at all, but rather something more like Sirius or James on their normal days. He likes to have fun when his mind it out to pasture, pulling stunts for attention and laughing with the most light-hearted of the gathering. A lot of people make it their mission to try and get him hammered whenever possible, but sadly most fail at that task. While not much of a drinker, Severus smokes like a fiend. Severus plays right into this almost commercial view of his generation. Why not? It’s not like his life is going to add up to anything in the long run. The threat of dying from lung cancer intrigues him in a way. It almost seems to give him something to strive for. Creepy thing. Of course, he doesn’t often smoke while on campus. Only when a particularly stressful day warrants it. Most of the time he finds other ways to relax.
As far as it being popular goes- that would not deter him from doing it. Of course he wants to do the cool things! That's half the reason he wants to be a Death Eater. However, in that regard, he would hide his smoking habit from his fellow Slytherins, as doing something muggle is not exactly the way to win over the masses at his school. Since being popular there would be much more important to him than anything else, he would probably work in the reverse of muggle social norms. The main reason he smokes is because he needed a tool to relax at home and magical vents would be banned for him in more ways than one, being both under-aged and living in a house with a father who doesn't really like that side of the family. Since alcohol would be out, it would have to be cigarettes. On the subject of alcohol, again, the only reason Severus would engage in drinking would be because of some desire to fit in. He would push aside his abhorrence of alcohol if, say, a social gathering with Slytherins called for him to drink to fit in. It's always about fitting in, and looking like a sore thumb doing it, really. However, that doesn't mean he drinks for fun- he really does hate it, and only considers getting ahead more important than his own discomfort. So, even though he does loathe alcohol, he will still get into the same kind of drunken stupor as anyone else after consuming the right amount, his being a more light-hearted Severus.
Severus would probably be hard-pressed to admit any terrible fears. For the most part, he keeps his thoughts to himself and struggles through his problems on his own. Unfortunately, that doesn't make fear go away, and often provokes it, like poking a caged bear with a stick. His biggest fears are drowning, and his horrible father getting the better of him one day. The boggart would probably form in the latter appearance, taking on the shape of an excessively intimidating potions prodigy daddy. Though he likes to play it all off as though he hates his father, a lot of the resentment stems from fear. Why shouldn't it? He'd spent many younger years learning to accept the man's authority or face the appropriate punishment for his youthful rebellion. He finds it almost disgraceful, really, that he fears a muggle man. Yet the boggart is not one to lie.
He has daddy issues.
Severus doesn't have a great many goals in life, really. Considering most everything he attempts ends up blowing up in his face, he isn't one to take a lot of risks, nor is he one to think too far into the future. However, he isn't completely without hope. He wants to find his purpose in life, whether that means joining the Death Eaters or doing something entirely different that he just hasn't been made aware of yet. Yes, he did want to make up with Lily, but he decided it was best to let it go, even if it eats at him and he continues to pine for it. He'll always want to be friends with Lily again, not is not in question, but how much effort he puts into making things up with her would decrease at this point, not increase. By this time, he has taken more to watching from a far and day-dreaming about the road not traveled, wounded and unable to mend properly. Beyond his goal to find himself, he would want to make sure he disconnected himself from his father. Considering how much he blames him for what happened to his mother, and his relationships with the other Slytherins, distancing himself from all muggles might not be too far from his mind. One day, he hopes to live completely as a wizard, with all the magic he wants helping him along the way. All the same, short-term goals are relatively meaningless in the mind of the potions prodigy. He's more of a 'in the long run' kind of guy, where the end justifies the means. For him, things like 'graduating' or 'making friends' come in a distant second, mostly because he fears setting that kind of goal and having it fail. Pain, particularly emotional pain, is not something he is very good at dealing with, so he tries not to set himself up for it as much as possible.
As far as friendships go, Severus would prefer the type of friend who isn’t there. He doesn’t like people. Doesn’t trust them. And allies he makes are on a tentative basis, the potions prodigy always reserving the right to promptly dump someone should he find them false or seemingly out to get him. Even when it doesn’t turn out to be the case. Still, even he can’t fully disregard the rest of the population. There are a few he enjoys the company of. Smart people, usually, and those often not in his own, untrustworthy house. He likes being able to lean on a compassionate ear every now and again. Granted he will pretend any bitch-fest never happened after the fact, but still the act of getting things off his chest to someone else was good in his mind. His friends were more secret affairs than anything else, the boy knowing that they would suffer in their reputation if anyone knew they were hanging out with him. So he also likes a person capable of keeping secrets. Lots and lots of secrets.
He really doesn’t know what he’s looking for in a true lover just yet. Young and eager for appreciation, he can sometimes be a bit gullible, falling for someone nothing to his actual tastes just because she maybe acts a little nicer to him than the general public. The only real exception to this is Lily Evans, a woman not only kind to him but smart and beautiful too. She isn’t just a passing ship in the night to him. If he could have anyone on the planet, it would be her or someone just like her. But he doesn’t deserve her. Throughout his life upon linking it with hers he has been constantly made aware of that fact. Finally, in fifth year, his feelings boiled and he exploded all over the poor creature. At first he was horrified, profusely apologizing in vain and doing everything in his power to try and win back her favor. He had even stayed outside next to the Gryffindor portrait entrance all night long to try and get her to come out and speak to him. After constant rejections and giving it a good deal of thought he discovered having her pissed at him was probably the best thing for the both of them in the long run. It would keep her out of his soon-to-be Death Eater life, while it would also allow him to fall out of love with her. After a full summer passed without him speaking to her, though, he has yet to see any progress on that front. It eats at him that he can’t even speak to her any longer.
Perhaps one day he’ll learn what he really wants out of a woman, but for now he’s more than content in pining over one girl while almost completely ignoring the others.
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Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Father: Tobias Snape
Mother: Eileen Snape (formerly Prince)
Siblings: None
Others: None
Birth Place: A Small hospital in muggle England.
Current Residence: Severus currently resides at Spinner's End in northern England. The shit-hole at the back of the street.
Overall History: Severus grew up in an abusive home to say the least. Though his magically inclined mother was very kind and strong-minded –not to mention very much loved by her only son- his father was a repulsive alcoholic muggle with a temper strong enough to tame even the most obstinate of shrews.
Namely: Eileen Prince.
After years of ruthless fights and drunken physical encounters from Tobias Snape, Eileen faltered under the overbearing nature of her cruel husband, becoming an easily intimidated shadow of her former self. Of the self Severus had loved so much. Instead of fighting back, eventually it simply came down to following orders, trying in vain to avoid displeasing the man, and getting out of the way when he had a few too many. When Severus got older, he found himself protecting his mother from harm. If a fight kicked up when he was around, and Tobias made to hurt his mother, Severus would jump in and bring the older man’s attention away from his mother. He didn’t mind a beating if it meant his mother’s safety. Eileen and Severus suffered together, finding solace only in each other’s company.
Tobias was disgusted when he found out about Severus’s ability to use magic, expressing that magic was a load of crap and he never wanted to see it from his disgrace of a son. He had never let Eileen use it, and the same would go for Severus. Eileen, however, did not feel the same about her son’s gift. When Severus got a letter for Hogwarts, she fought tooth and nail for her son to go; threatening to leave Tobias to the dogs if he refused her son this one gift. He had never shown an ounce of interest in his son’s life, so she begged that he stay out of it in this matter as well. Seeing as all the family’s money came from her side of the family, the selfish Tobias eventually caved, allowing Severus to go to school. This was the only show of grace Severus ever received from the man.
But, as the school years moved along slowly, Eileen’s mental health deteriorated. She could no longer take her husband’s rage; having grown dependant on her own son’s protection. With him away at school, there was no one to place themselves between her person and the blows. And his short time at home during breaks and vacations was simply not enough to comfort her. Severus suggested they leave Tobias and live on their own, but Eileen could not bring herself to leave the man she had once loved. Some deranged part of her was convinced he would eventually return to the wonderful man she had fallen in love so long ago. It didn’t take long for her own mind to destroy her sanity, trapping her in a fate she did not wish to stay in. As is often the case with a person at the end of the line, Eileen found only one escape from her pain.
The summer before Severus’s sixth year of schooling, Eileen killed herself.
Severus had not seen what had happened. It had been a normal day, complete with drunken spats and dragging his father’s inebriated body onto the nearest piece of cushioned furniture. Severus moved into the living room, and took watch as Eileen withdrew her wand from her robes after a particularly nasty spat with Tobias. She looked over the wood fondly, as though she had not seen it in years, and gave a gentle sigh. The young boy hadn’t known her thoughts. There was no way he could have known what she would do. She looked at her Severus, a defeated smile on her face, and told him she was sorry. She then instructed him to go to his room. As he turned to the door, however, a flash of green sparked from the other room subsequent by a heavy thud: they only two things Severus could clearly remember about the rest of that night. He couldn’t even remember crying about what had happened. Later he was told she had shot the spell at the mirror in some kind of a rage, accidentally having it reflect back at her. A story Severus never bought.
After that, his father grew colder. He would only watch Severus, silent and still with a beer bottle often in hand. Though he had been cruel to the woman, he had still felt some contorted version of love for her. The beatings on his son decreased with her death, but there was a dangerous loathing behind his dark glares that made Severus more afraid for his own life than ever before. Tobias blamed Severus for what had happened. He blamed magic.
Severus blamed muggles.
If not for school starting up again only a few weeks later: Severus knew Tobias would have tried to kill him. The tension radiating between them was tangible. It was the one time Severus was thankful to be going back to Hogwarts.
Even the Marauders were better than his home life.
Nonetheless, even school wasn't much more forgiving for the potions prodigy. While he excelled in his studies, his person life too a bit of a hit. While he had been growing up, his only real friend had been a spunky red-head named Lily Evans. For a boy who'd had such a rough home life, having someone always there, waiting at the local park for him, had been something of a blessing. From a very early age, he had considered the girl an angel, sent to him to help in his various times of need. They lived near each other, and she seemed to love hearing about magic from him. All the stories he had learned from his mother, when Tobias hadn't been around, he told to her. Her particular interest seemed to be a story about dementors. Whatever she wanted to hear, he would tell her if he could.
When they had both gotten their letters, he had been thrilled. Even as his father ranted and raged about not wanting his son to waste his time with magic, he couldn't take the smile from his face. But it didn't take long for things to change. Once they got on that train, and the teasing began almost instantly, he knew he was in for a bumpy ride. It was alright- he had Lily.
And then they were put in different houses.
Severus probably would have been fine if she had been placed in Ravenclaw, but Gryffindor? He'd already known from his mother that the two houses didn't get along, and he wasn't about to give up on Slytherin. His mother had wanted him to be in her old house so desperately. In one regard, he was happy, in the other, he was crushed. If only she had been in Slytherin. As the time went on, the years wore on their friendship. They did their best to hold together, but Severus could feel the distance growing. Those damn marauders- their constant teasing fed on his loathing of Gryffindor, made all the worse by the fact that they got to share the deplorable house with the perfect Lily Evans. They were probably spending more time with her than he could! She claimed she didn't like them, but his heart was wavering. Jealousy was making him paranoid. Soon enough, he had convinced himself that she was starting to like them more than she was letting on.
But that wasn't the only thing weighing on his mind. He also had his own classmates to consider. He liked hanging out with his new friends and showing off his talent in the dark arts. They were impressed by him, telling him he could become a very powerful Death Eater if he wanted to. Connections, power, acceptance- he wanted it all, and finally he had the means of getting it. Perhaps he'd be able to show his father that wizards could have a purpose, too. Even if he couldn't, who cared? Muggles weren't all that great, anyway. He was starting to see it.
He had been wrong to put so much worry towards making his dad proud of him. His worthless father should have been the one hoping to impress his powerful son.
In fifth year, things exploded. After a cruel encounter with Potter and his pals, Severus ended up taing his frustrations out on Lily in order to preserve what remained of his pride. She couldn't see that he had needed to do it- that being in Slytherin was the only thing he had going for him. She also couldn't see that he hadn't meant it, in her case. Of course not! He loved her, so why would he think lowly of her? She didn't care. If he couldn't think highly of all muggle borns, than she didn't want anything to do with him. Maybe he didn't hate them, but he couldn't tell her that. He couldn't risk word getting back to the other Slytherins. So he could only let her dissolve their friendship, the various attempts at apologizing to her all going to vain. Even threatening to sleep outside the Gryffindor common room hadn't been enough to stir her forgiveness.
So when sixth year started up, he had no best friend and no mother. Blaming his father for the latter, of course he dove deeper into the dark arts, and the talk of joining the Death Eaters. Muggles were demons. They didn't deserve to be giving the run of things. If Voldemort, or rather, the Dark Lord, could change how things were, then perhaps he could find his standing after all. Lily was wrong. A different way of thinking didn't make it evil. Extreme measures had to be taken to ensure the promise of a brighter future. His deluded, depressed mind was happy to believe all the cheesy lines.
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Curiosity is not a sin.... But we should exercise caution with our curiosity... yes, indeed.
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Curiosity is not a sin.... But we should exercise caution with our curiosity... yes, indeed.
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Alias: Tina
Age: 25
Code: covered by admin